Birthday, Shmirthday!

I'm 65 and I guess that puts me in with the geriatrics. But if there were fifteen months in every year, I'd only be 48. That's the trouble with us. We number everything. Take women, for example. I think they deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of 28 and 40. - James Thurber

Today is my mom's birthday. If I could, I would give her:

1. a new back that didn't ever hurt or require surgery (Hey, how about a new body that doesn't hurt? That would be nice.)
2. a round-the-world cruise, with extended time in Florence
3. a new computer (a Mac this time)
4. Grandma's persimmon cookie recipe voodoo - she never wrote it down; it went with her and kept the suckers from spreading while baking
5. a house around the corner, with gardens right out of Sunset and a pair of doves nesting in a back yard Japanese maple, and
6. something fabulously pretty that makes her feel like a million dollars every time she wears it

I love you, Mom. It's going to be a good year. Smooches!

Good Things, Part 1(a)

I have lots to share, my dear Internets.

Our niece's simple graveside service two weeks ago was just right. Family gathered - Andy and Auntie Jean flew up, and Tonya's brothers and parents drove in. Larry did the service and said, as Auntie Jean put it, all the right things we hoped he would say. That child knew no sorrow or pain, only love. Baby E.'s big sister, the Pillowfight Fairy, sat between Rick and Andy, and her other big sister, the Adrenaline Junkie, sat on Andy's lap. They both made themselves feel safe and cozy.
We were sad, we were resigned, yet we are still hopeful, and at peace with E.'s passing. It doesn't make it easier; it is what it is. So, we talked, and hung out, and through it all still had a generous dose of laughter because we were all together.



Then we did what was only natural. We went to out to lunch.

The next morning, oh goodness, Rick and I took off for four days at Disneyland. We spent most of our time in the parks, and retreated back to our room for naps most afternoons. We were on vacation, after all. We simply can't go all day like we did a dozen years ago, but we managed...





One of our favorite activities at the Mouse House is buying caramel apples (What? It's an apple! It's healthy!) and sitting on Main Street to eat them, making exaggerated yummy noises. We like to think we're helping the candy store sell out.

The easiest way to get from one end of Main Street to the other, if your timing is right, is to hitch a ride.


More later! Smooches!

For Sandra

Sheet music stolen years ago while we visited Fresno (um...sorry), unearthed and entered into Finale Notepad two weeks ago, key change and measure numbers engineered by one of our sopranos who has the full Finale program, finally practiced on Sunday afternoon perhaps three times by our little singing group (a bit tenor heavy 'cause Joe is freakin' awesome and Justin rocks the casbah, second soprano assisting the only remaining alto because we were missing two, and just Rick as bass but that's...OK,) an hour trying to find an appropriate video host, three minutes to reluctantly sign up for YouTube (to be followed by a lifetime of regret, I'm sure) and ages and ages and ages for the video to upload.

All that to say, we really like your arrangement. May we use it?




I hope you don't mind Rick dropping octaves once in a while. He can't help it.

Held

For a couple of hours on early Tuesday morning, we had a new niece. Her parents, as prepared for this time as they could be, held her until she was gone and loved her just as they had before they found out she couldn't stay, before they knew she would be just a fleeting visitor in our family.

Before you were born, before we knew you were so sick, little E., I had hoped you would be born just a bit early, because I had picked out a poem to read to you at your wedding. Different prose from a song I heard a while ago appeals to me right now.

...To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we’d be rescued?
What has changed, and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We’re asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It’s unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved,
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell, we’d be held.

("Held", Natalie Grant)

It's true, you know. I can't imagine dealing with this loss without knowing the pit into which I had fallen was not bottomless. We aren't promised that we will be spared from the heartbreaks that come from living in a fallen world. We are held. E.'s parents are held. That's enough.

List Item 5,397(b): Update Blog

1. I just applied for a job that looks exciting and challenging and makes my tummy flutter a little. I'm not entirely qualified, but it's what I want to do, and I know that I can do it. It uses things I am learning right now and challenges me to learn some more, ASAP. I also applied for a job that will pay the bills, for which I am tremendously overqualified. Go ahead and guess which one I want to pan out.

2. My husband sleeps like a dead pharaoh. My cat sleeps like a restless toddler. I submit the following pictorial evidence. Time, 1:30 am on a random weekday.




3. My tomato and strawberry plants are still alive and thriving. I snipped the developing strawberries off of the plants as I wanted them to get established before producing fruit, and strawberries in April are an abomination. These plants (variety Sequoia, ever-bearing) normally don't produce until June and July anyway. My herbs and sweetpeas, however, are staring out the outline of a glowing closet door which leads Onward, and a small woman is chanting to them, "Go into the light! There is peace and warmth in the light!" They haven't quite decided, but I remain hopeful.

4. Our friends Alicia and Justin (finally!) got engaged. We took some pictures with our amazing camera after church the next day, as everyone was clamoring for Facebook proof that the ring did indeed exist and was on her lovely hand. Rick will be in the wedding party, and I am both providing the Something Borrowed (the lovely small diamond studs that my dad and stepmom gave me for my college graduation) and acting as the Someone Borrowed, working and willing to all but sacrifice myself to the flames to make sure the event is a success.

He was cast as Joseph in our Christmas play before he had even formally placed membership last summer; we called him our ram in the thicket, as our musical director was the only other tenor able to pull off that role and really didn't want to do it. She's the youngest daughter of one of the elders here whose family decided last year to just go ahead and adopt us, and a fellow Pepperdine alumna. They started dating seven months ago and just knew, mere weeks later. We're planning a Disneyland double date in the next year. It's been exciting to watch these two meet, fall in love and now plan their lives together. It's humbling that they look to us as mentors and friends.

Time Flies

Surely it hasn't been three weeks, has it? Really? Oh dear. Obviously, updating my blog needs to be included on my weekly list.

I get great satisfaction from making lists and checking things off of them. I have been known to start a list later in the day and include things I've already done, just to check them off right away - look at how much I've already accomplished! Yeay, me! I get anxious when my list isn't feasible, and I can't get most of it done in the time frame I anticipated. I take those lists seriously, so much so that we occasionally put the word stuff on our shopping lists, because if it's not on the list, it's not going in the cart!

My list for the upcoming weeks includes:

1. Attend classes for my "Train the Trainer" certification. The next two weeks will be on the subject of Utilizing Technology-Based Learning, which should include webinars and other online gadgets. Register for the upcoming class.
2. Find a job already. Sheesh.
3. Keep these alive.
Two tomatoes - a Sweet 100 and a Brandywine Beefsteak - three Sequoia strawberries, a mess of sweetpeas and some herbs. I have appropriated a sunny patch by ruthlessly turfing an overgrown tangle of star jasmine, and the sweetpeas will be safely tucked in its place tomorrow. The tomatoes each get their own pot and wire cage / tomato stake contraption. I have some small pots into which to move those herbs once they are a bit over microscopic in size. I seem to have difficulty keeping plants alive, and have only recently been led to understand that they have needs, such as sunlight and fairly regular water. The cat can follow me around the house and alert me to check his empty food dish (don't freak out people, he's on a diet and gets a measured amount two times a day, we don't starve him) but those plants can only wither and droop in place. Perhaps pictorial progress will keep me focused on their survival.

Rick e-mailed my list to me today, as mine was not yet assembled. Having been up coughing since two a.m. - did you know there is a two in the morning as well as one in the afternoon? It's a distinctly unpleasant time of night, let me tell you - he kindly gave me a reminder of my to-dos so I didn't have to engage the little gray cells. He had included picking up prescriptions, a trip to Starbucks, and a nap, the last two being treats in which I don't frequently indulge. He must like me.

While we are on the topic of lists, here is another snippet from my classes, this one from The Training Needs Assessment. I present to you the ADDIE model, an extremely handy tool to use in developing training programs.
1. Assessment / Analysis - Begin with the end in mind. What are you wanting to happen as a result of the training? What resources do you have already? What do you need to know?
2. Design - What do you want this to look like? A half day in-house seminar, a focus group, a webinar, a 20-minute tune-up? Now that you know what you want, determine what is feasible. A supervisor may allow a half-day when there is a week of material to cover...
3. Development - Too often we start here, and many don't spend enough time here, where we put the training together. Planning is good.
4. Implementation - This is the fun stuff, the actual class time. Hours of work can go into every hour in this category.
5. Evaluation - There are many levels of evaluation that will happen, from the quick "did you like it?" through "Are you using it?" and "Did it matter?" into "What is the ROI to the company for this time spent?" It needs to matter, and I need to prove that it mattered.

More sooner, rather than later. You're on my list.

Right Time

I know how to do so many things. I can teach you to knit, and I can teach you how to get information out of a database, merge it into a document and pump out personalized letters, by phone, while lying very still on my back with an amazing case of vertigo (true story dat.) I can check your ergonomic fitness at your workstation, and I can make sure you will never confuse "lay" and "lie" ever again in under 30 seconds. What I can learn, I can teach. If it is in technical gobbledygook I can translate it. I can write for persuasion, instruction, and my own amusement. It is time to do something about all that, so I started a "Train the Trainer" certification program through Sac State on 2/6. There were eight students, most of whom were already employed in some capacity as workplace learning and performance professionals (ooo, nice title) and were looking to further develop their skills or, as in my case, redirect and hone their talents. It's very odd to be in a classroom setting again as the student; the others in the class agreed that it's much easier to be the one in front telling people what to do.

The first thing I learned was the difference between "education" and "training". I apologize, but this example is too good to pass up - the fastest route to understanding would be for you to put the word "sex" in front of those two words. Self-explanatory. Next topic!

The second thing I learned was that training is not the answer for every performance or motivational issue. You can't take a group of ridiculous employees from a dysfunctional department, send them to a "How to Deal With Difficult People" class and expect them to shape up. I now have some nifty tools to help analyze performance issues, and a fantastic behavioral engineering model that has been triple verified (by the original study by Thomas Gilbert, someone else with completely new data, and data collected by our teacher) which showed that only 11% of performance problems within organizations are a "training issue" and 76% (!!) are environmental issues relating to lack of information, resources, or incentives/consequences that have nothing to do with the employee in question at all. It is much cheaper to fix environmental issues than to "fix" a person.

If this sounds like I am trying to talk myself out of a job, you aren't exactly right. There must be an ROI (return on investment) and practical application to training. As a training professional, I will need to align learning with the business needs of my organization, or I won't be relevant and will once again find myself unemployed. I need to know how what I am doing impacts the bottom line. The packaging is important, but without real world impact, I am expendable. So, the first questions that need to be asked when Anita or Wenita Class come to call are, "What result are you looking for? What are you wanting people to do differently?" And, if I am feeling daring, "How do you know training will solve this issue?" I'm looking forward to applying this stuff (and being paid to do so.)

So - tomorrow is Valentine's Day. While we normally don't make a huge fuss chez us over the Hormonal Holiday, choosing instead to be loving toward each other all year long (yes, this may make you want to throw up a little - go right ahead) I have been thinking about "a little romantic inspiration" that I can post. So, for those of you who need it, here you go. Happy Valentine's Day. For the record, knowing the extent of my readership, I probably love you. Smooches!